[Chorus:]

Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler 

Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a sailor but he's 

Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler 

Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a 

Whaler could have been a Tailor, 

He turned out to be Norman Mailer 

Whoaaoo 

He stepped back and he smoked a joint 

Twenty thousand peasants had to get the point 

Mommy was a hamster, 

Daddy was a jailer 

Real tough childhood for such a fucking failure 

[chorus] 

He's so glad he's Vlad 

When he was a boy, they sent him to the Turks 

But you know they didn't like him because all the Turks were jerks 

When Vlad returned home his wrath for his ancient foe had spurned 

But the ancient art of impalement was something that the boy had learned 

Oh, how he learned 

He learned, they burned and burned and burned 

Rotisseries of corpses turned 

He's so glad, oh he's so glad he's Vlad