(chorus) What in the hell is wrong with people
The deranged should be caged
What is wrong with people
That it couldn't be me
Where their road ends
It must be them can't you see
Is fill it up with alcohol
But all I have to do
That's where mine begins…
There's a giant hole in my heart
It closes all the holes
And subdues my restlessness
It hides all my boredom
It enhances my personality
But makes me order 3 orders of buffalo wings
When I would normally have just one
It forces me to bob my head to songs that I really really hate
Who orders 2 waters with lemon
And it makes me want to strike someone at the bar
When I notice 2 marginally attractive girls parking it next to me at the bar
And once again I find myself bobbing my head to a mediocre song
(chorus)
Sipping spring water with a twist of lemon
And I'm ready to puke when a small child sits next to me at the bar
But that's ok because to me other people's kids are fine
So it's no surprise that it's parents are ordering water with lemon
And a root beer for the child
Do you ever find yourself striving for perfection
And is that why I find myself eavesdropping constantly
With a virtually worthless attempt at it
Sports bars are the best places to meet people you hate
Not that I've actually met anyone
It's just a matter of listening to their conversations and assuming that you hate them
Oh here we go a couple a few tables down just ordered lunch
When of coarse that probably isn't true
Because I can get along with anyone if I absolutely have to
(chorus)
The guy wearing a basketball tank top is having a veggie burger with fruit instead of fries
And his husky date is just having a salad…it must be their first date
No than I would hate myself more than I already do
And what goes better with rabbit food than ice water with a slice of lemon
Sometimes I think if I could be anyone in the whole world I would be a magician
Or even make them befriend me but then again I could become one of them
But at least then I could make all of these people in the bar be more like me
And only then would I understand the befits
Of putting a slice of lemon in ordinary drinking water
(chorus)