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hey mister, where you headed? are you in a hurry?  I need a lift to
happy hour. Say oh no.  Do you break your distilled spirits?  I need a
break as well.  the well inebriates the guilt. 1,2. 1,2,3,4.  Cold
turkey's hetting stale tonight i' eating crow.  Fermented salmonella
poison oak no.   there's a drought at the fountain of youth, and now i'm
dehydrating.  My toung is swelling up, as say 1,2. 1,2,3,4     troubled
times, you know i cannot lie.  i'm off the wagon and i'm hitchin' a
ride.  there's a drought at the fountain of youth and now i'm
dehydrating.  My tounge is swelling up, i say shit.

I've had people e-mail me about the lyrics and all I can say is this:
I heard this off the radio.  I didn't know the lyrics. Sorry. And
putting {READ} in the subject line won't make me want to read the mail
anymore than I already do.  Thank you.