Alex Sloan is an asshole
Alex Sloan is a dog that's barking
Alex Sloan is so sarcastic
He learned that while enforcing parking

Alex Alex why such ire?
Why does your heart seem to be on fire?
Why do your auctions have so much sarcasm
Did you fail for 15 years to have even one orgasm?

Oh, Oh, Oh, Alex get a life!
Oh, Oh, Oh Alex, get a wife.
OH!

Sung to the tune of "Eat My Shorts, Parking Badge Boy"