I was five years near the docks in Detroit
Living in the four rooms where I was born
My daddy was a crew man on a freightlining ship
My mama learned to weather the storm

It was the year of the tiger
In the fall when the rains turned to snow
And made a graveyard out of lake Superior
And stole so many men from their homes

And my ma would play the radio
Everytime daddy would leave
I'd go to bed with Donna Fargo
And I'd wake up with Jim Reeves

That's why I hate country music
All it's get well soons and it's happy valentines
That's why I hate country music
It says what can't be said and then it says it in rhyme

I found myself south of the border
Wearing a mustache that wasn't my own
My dreams smelt like tequila
Man I was walking alone

I never found the Rio Bravo
Though I saw it in a magazine
I lived like John Dos Passos
Above the Willie Nelson Wax Museum

My friends you wouldn't believe me
The size of that buffet
I'll be sipping on appletinis
And cowrite my troubles away

That's why I hate country music
Too well fed and smothered under all that style
That's why I hate country music
Whether it's here in the square or two stepping down in the line

From Motown to the bayou
From Sin City to Miami
From 125 street
In Harlem by the sea

From the Piute reservations
And all the enclaves of the underemployed
The ghosts of Ellis Island
And the outcasts who tilled the soil

Americana migraine
From the ganglands of San Antone
Here's a song for the huddled masses
It'd be so great if they were gone

That's why I hate country music
It's as american as hotdogs and charlie pride
That's why I hate country music
This land is your land, but this land is mine

That's why I hate country music
Let it soothe my christian soul until I am saved
That's why I hate country music
From good old fashion greetings, wish you were here in
Country music city USA