I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall

I could stay right here or disappear, and nobody'd even notice at all

I'm a creeper in a bathroom 'cause my buddy kinda left me alone

But I'd rather fake pee than stand awkwardly or pretend to check a text on my phone



Everything felt fine, when I was half of a pair

Now through no fault of mine, there's no other half there



Now I'm just Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

Forget how long it's been

I'm just Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

No, you can't come in

I'm waiting it out till it's time to leave

And picking at grout as I softly grieve

I'm just Michael who you don't know, Michael flying solo

Michael in the bathroom by himself

All by himself



I am hiding but he's out there, just ignoring all our history

Memories get erased and I'll get replaced with a newer cooler version of me

And I hear a drunk girl, sing along to Whitney through the door

â??I wanna dance with somebody! â?

And my feelings sink cause it makes me think: now there's no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore



Now it's just Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

I half regret the beers

Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

As I choke back the tears

I'll wait as long as I need, till my face is dry

Or I'll just blame it on weed or something in my eye

I'm just Michael who you don't know, Michael flying solo

Michael in the bathroom by himself



Knock knock knock knock

They're gonna start to shout soon

Knock knock knock knock

Aw hell yeah, I'll be out soon

Knock knock knock knock

It sucks you left me here alone

Knock knock knock knock

Here in this teenage battle zone

Clang clang clang clang

I feel the pressure blowing up

Bang bang bang bang

My big mistake was showing up

Splash splash splash splash

I throw some water in my face

And I am in a better place

I go to open up the door, but I can't hear knocking anymore



I can't help but yearn

For a different time

And then I look in the mirror and the present is clearer

And there's no denying, I'm just... 

At a party, is there a sadder sight than

Hmmmm Michael in the bathroom at a party, this is a heinous night

I wish I stayed at home in bed watching cable porn

Or wish I off'ed myself instead, wish I was never born

I'm just Michael who's a loner so he must be a stoner

Rides a PT Cruiser, God he's such a loser

Michael flying solo, who you think that you know

Michael in the bathroom by himself

All by himself

All by himself



All you know about me is my name

Awesome party I'm so glad I came