Who suffers from nine known diseases?
Who gets up in the morning when the sun comes up
And makes their beds, of paper clips, and bus tickets
All around their heads?
Who congregate around Trafalgar Square
Taking pot shots at the tourists?
Oh you've got to watch out
When you wander round the square in the morning
They're everywhere, they're everywhere

Here we have an honest man
A civil servant to boot
He lived high up in the Ministry
And when he wished to make a point
He knew just what to do
His window ledges were all covered in grease
I want them out of here

He said to me I want them gone
Because you see -- Oh don't you see
None of us are getting any younger
You've got to follow your nose
And if it tells you that you've got to go
Well that's because, they're everywhere,
They're everywhere

So we called in those men, those horrible men
And set them to work on the rooftops
You see their van is very plain
And I know they're too ashamed
To wear their by appointment badges anymore
Sometimes they use vaseline, sometimes they use the pill
I've often seen them with a gun
But as the years go by, old habits seem to die
And nowadays they knockatize them all
Oh you've got to watch out
As you wander round the square in the morning
They're everywhere, they're everywhere