With my wallet and my passport, a new pair of shoes
 The sun is shining so I head for the park
 With a bottle of Tequila, and a new pack of cigarettes

 I got a cousin and she got a friend
 Who thought that her aunt knew a man who could help
 At his apartment I knocked on the door
 He wouldn't come out until he got paid
 Now don't tell anybody what I wanna do
 If they find out you know that they'll never let me through

 It's no fun being an illegal alien
 It's no fun being an illegal alien

 Down at the office had to fill out the forms
 A pink one, a red one, the colours you choose
 Up to the counter to see what they think
 They said "It doesn't count man, it ain't written in ink"
 Don't trust anybody least not around here, cos

 It's no fun being an illegal alien
 It's no fun being an illegal alien
 It's no fun being an illegal alien
 It's no fun being an illegal alien
 An illegal alien, O.K.

 Consideration for your fellow man
 Wouldn't hurt anybody, sure fits in with my plan
 Over the border, there lies the promised land

 So don't tell anybody what I wanna do
 If they find out you know that they'll never let me through

 It's no fun being an illegal alien
 It's no fun being an illegal alien
 It's no fun being an illegal alien
 It's no fun being an illegal alien