We always watch the Queen on Christmas Day
Won't you stay?

Though your eyes see shipwrecked sailors you're still dry
The outlook's fine though Wales might have some rain
Saved again.

Let's skip the news boy (I'll go and make some tea)
Arabs and Jews boy (too much for me)
They get me confused boy (puts me off to sleep)
And the thing I hate--Oh Lord!
Is staying up late, to watch some debate, on some nation's fate.

Hypnotised by Batman, Tarzan, still surprised!
You've won the West in time to be our guest
Name your prize!

Drop of wine, a glass of beer dear what's the time?
The grime on the Tyne is mine all mine all mine
Five past nine.

Blood on the rooftops--Venice in the Spring
The Streets of San Francisco--a word from Peking
The trouble was started--by a young Errol Flynn
Better in my day--Oh Lord!
For when we got bored, we'd have a world war, happy but poor
So let's skip the news boy (I'll go and make some tea)
Blood on the rooftops (too much for me)
When old Mother Goose stops--and they're out for 23
Then the rain at Lords stopped play
Seems Helen of Troy has found a new face again