Woke up today 

looking through my email 

it's all triple x - explicit sex 

But I'm not horny 



Can't make it stop, the different colored soda pops 

striped toe socks, call the cops 

I can't take anymore 



I've got the perfect cel plan with nights and weekends free 

All the ringtones that I need 

But no one ever calls me 



I should paint myself green 

Walk around in a red g-string 

Cause I just don't fit in 

Turn my hat sideways 

put a band aid on my face 

You know that I.... 

Wish I could start a trend 



Checkin' out and in of the Paris Hilton 

Joe Millionaire - he's a has been

Flippin' through a hundred million channels 

But I still watch Road Rules 

Lose the pounds FLIP 

You gotta buy now FLIP 

Here's the number to save your soul FLIP 

Breaking news...another Michael Jackson scandal 



I've got the perfect cel plan with nights and weekends free 

More on-peak than I need 

But no one ever calls me 



I'll wear low rider jeans 

Put a barbell through my dingaling 

Cause I just don't fit in 

Turn my hat sideways 

put a band aid on my pretty face 

Cause I wish, I know, I could.... 

I would start a trend 



Nana nana na 

Nana nana na 

Nana nana na 



Then there's my girlfriend 

She's such a cutie 

She'd be a beauty 

If she could get an extreme makeover on that booty 

I could bend her over and she let me spank it 

Take off my jeans 

The zipper pinched my dingaling 

And I don't really fit in 

Throw my hat away 

Take that stupid band aid off my face 

And I...I wish there were 

One more way to tan your skin 

a reality show where no one wins 

If I would be myself 

Then I would start a trend 



If I'd just be myself