Schools out, Christmas break 

Home for the holiday's meatloaf and fruitcake



Off to grandmas, it's so boring 

Screaming kids and grandpa's snoring



My aunt Margaret's lost her mind

She's trippin' on a train set, have another box of wine



It's gonna be a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas

I must be on Santa clauses shitlist

The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss

Shoot me now I'm sick of all my relatives

Have a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas



Uncle Richard he's a weirdo

Passing out pictures of himself in a Speedo



My cousin Ashley, her singing really sucks 

Blames it on her drummer and acid reflux



My brother's wife is really hot 

She pulled me in the bathroom; I hope we don't get caught



It's gonna be a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas

I must be on Santa clauses shitlist

The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss

Shoot me now I'm sick of all my relatives

Have a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas



We haven't even opened our presents yet but now it's time to start

So I'll fake a smile ‘cause its going back to Wal-Mart



It's gonna be a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas

I must be on Santa clauses shitlist

The tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss

Shoot me now I'm sick of all my relatives

Have a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas