Artist. Frank Zappa

Title: The Jimmy Carl Black Philosophy Lesson

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(Next during the JIMMY CARL BLACK PHILOSOPHY LESSON we learn that If 

you wanna get laid after the show, you gotta play rock n roll music an drink 

beer -- you're not gonna get laid anyway with those uniforms on! He 

announces his intention to quit The Mothers, planning to make his way into 

the audience in order to hustle some young ladies. It was my unfortunate 

duty to remind him that here in London, your'e not gonna get any pussy 

unless you like a pop star --. The make-up team dresses him up to look like 

a cross between Donovan and Jimi Hendrix. With a bottle of beer (DOUBLE 

DIAMOND) in each hand he charges into the audience.) 



FZ:

At this very moment Jimmy Carl Black the Indian of the group is 

approaching the stage. Jimmy Carl likes to drink and also likes to boogie all 

night long and is also horny. Approaches Underwood in his transformed state 

at the piano and ask him this all important question:



Jimmy Carl:

Hey I thought we're gonna play a Rock & Roll concert. What is this? 



Ian:

Jimmy Carl Black indian of the group? Four fours. 



Jimmy Carl:

How are you gonna get laid if you dont play rock & roll & drink beer. 

You get laid after the concert if you play rock & roll, this kind of crap you're 

not gonna . . . 



Ian:

You're not gonna get laid anyway with that uniform on. 



Jimmy Carl:

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna quit I'm gonna out and hustle me 

some chick, the hell with you. I'm leaving the group. 



(?):

Jimmy you need some discipline 



FZ:

Jimmy Carl(?) For your own good, that here in London you're not gonna get 

any pussy unless you look like a popstar. Fix him up! Mod Jacket, a thrilly 

Mod Neckpiece, Jimmy Hendrix wig, and a Feather Boa. 



Jimmy Carl:

Waaaaaaaaaaa 



FZ:

Jimmy Carl Black enters the audience to hustle some young ladies. Go on 

Jim see if you can get any action, and if you get lucky fix us up too. And if 

you're really lucky, get something for the robots... Mmmm the little 

mechanical things are going up and down, up and down.