Artist: Frank Zappa

Title: Lonesome Cowboy Burt

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My name is Burtram 

I am a redneck 

All my friends, 

They call me 'Burt' 

(Hi, Burt!) 

All my family, 

From down in Texas 

Make their livin' 

Diggin' dirt 



Come out here to Californy, 

Just to find me 

Some pretty girls 

Ones I seen 

Gets me so horny; 

Ruby lips, 

'N teeth like pearls! 



Wanna love 'em all! 

Wanna love 'em dearly! 

Wanna pretty girl- 

I'll even pay! 

I'll buy 'em furs! 

I'll buy 'em jewelry! 

I know they like me; 

Here's what I say: 



I'm lonesome Cowboy Burt! 

(Speakin' atcha!) 

Come smell my fringe-y shirt! 

(Reekin' atcha!) 

My cowboy pants, 

My cowboy dance, 

My bold advance, 

On this here waitress . . . 

Yodel-oh-oo-pee-hey 

Yodel-oh-oo-pee! 



(He's lonesome Cowboy Burt 

Don'tcha get his feelings hurt) 

Come on in this place, 

'N I'll buy you a taste, 

You can sit on my face- 

Where's my waitress? 



Burtram, Burtram redneck 

Burtram, Burtram redneck 



I'm an awful nice guy! 

Sweat all day in the sun! 

Roofer by trade, 

Quite a bundle I've made, 

I'm unionized roofin' old 

Son-of-a-gun! 

(He's a unionized roofin' old 

Son-of-a-gun!) 



When I get off, I get plastered 

Drink till I fall onna floor, 

Find me some Communist bastard, 

'N stomp on his face till he don't 

Move no more! 

(He stomps on his face till he don't 

Move no more!) 



I fuss, an' I cuss an' I keep on drinkin', 

Till my eyes puff up an' turn red! 

I drool on m'shirt, 

I see if he's hurt, 

Kick him again in the head, yes! 

Kick him again in the head, boys! 

Kick him again in the head, now! 

KICK HIM AGAIN IN THE HEAD! 



Lonesome Cowboy Burt! 

(Speakin' atcha!) 

Come smell my fringe-y shirt! 

(Reekin' atcha!) 

My cowboy pants, 

My cowboy dance, 

My bold advance, 

On this here waitress . . . 

Yodel-oh-oo-pee-yeh 

Yodel-oh-oo-pee! 



(HE'S LONESOME COWBOY BURT, 

A-don'tcha get his feelin's hurt) 

Yeah . . . but come on in this place, 

An' I'll buy you a taste, 

'N you can sit on my face- 

Where's my waitress? 

OPAL, YOU HOT LITTLE BITCH!