Artist: Frank Zappa

Title: Holding The Group Back

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(Just a few weeks before this show, the Pope had announced a ban on birth 

control pills (in spite of the persistent rumors that the Vatican had major 

financial holdings in a Swiss company that manufactured the little devils). 

To commemorate this, Roy Estrada strides on stage wearing a floor length 

chain-mail dress with enormous aluminum tits, and an ornate Catholic 

ceremonial head-dress. He is carrying a childs plastic sand bucket filled 

with SMARTYS (the British equivalent of M&Ms). The inscription on the 

bucket reads NO MORE UGLY BABIES! While chanting in Latin, he hurls 

fistfuls of candy into the audience, in lieu of birth control pills. 



He approaches Ian in his robotically transformed state and begs for an 

audition as an opera singer with Ians new group, claiming that he has to 

leave The Mothers -- he's holding the group back because he's a Mexican 

(He actually used to think this was true, and told me so on several occasions.) 



FZ:

Then from out of the corner from the stage comes Roy Ralph Estrada 

perturbed at the present situation within the Mothers. 



Roy Estrada:

Domino Domino Vo-bisqu-u-u-um

Domino Vo-bisqu-u-u-um

Amen

Domino Vo-bisqum

Hallelujah

Et cum spiritu tuo

Ian, I dont think I qualify for the Mothers





FZ:

They're making up their lines as they go along isn't it thrilling? 



Ian:

Why, Roy? 



Roy:

Because I don't think I'm qualified. I think I'm holding the group back 

because I'm a Mexican, and also because I don't play bass good. 



Ian:

I don't care how you can play bass but we have no Mexicans in this group. 



Roy:

And I wanna join your group. 



Ian:

No Mexicans! 



Roy:

I can sing opera, I cut my hair, I got all my shit together here. I can do it. 



Ian:

I don't care how you look you gotta be able to cut the part. 



Roy:

I can sing, please, please, give me a chance. 



Ian:

I don't believe you can sing. 



Roy:

Please, please hear my plea, please Ian please, I can do it, give me a 

chance. Please, please. Oh, oh, oh, please. 



Ian:

Okay mexican, okay Mexican, sing this note. 



Roy:

You think everything is gonna be alright. 



Ian:

Okay you passed the first part of the audition now you gotta sing. Roy:

Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi