{J.G. Thirwell)
The SNOT-GREEN sea - the SCROTUM-TIGHTENING sea
Cast thine bread upon the water - the SALTY water of the BRINY DEEP
Eternal backstroke in the vasty deep of the ocean of fire and brimstone
Looking at a haunted void - I'm all at sea, flat on thine back
As buoyant as the Titanic fifty years on so COME ON, Neptune, DRAG ME DOWN
Tadpole in the dead dead sea - FIREWATER!  FIREWATER!
That drip drip drip is making me sick/That drip drip drip is making me sink
I'm condemned to eternal WATER TORTURE
This time the decider has shown no quarter
I just had a backyard coathanger job from the SINNER SORTER, SOUL ABORTER
Fire and water, firewater, water torture, WATER TORTURE
I could walk on water 'til I landed in strife now I'm treading water
NOW I SWIM FOR MY LIFE
My wetsuit's got a hole in it's pocket
Stuck my wet to in a live hot socket
STUCK MY WET TOE IN A LIVE HOT SOCKET, WET TOE IN A LIVE HOT SOCKET
Water everywhere can't see the horizon... can't even be WASHED UP or BEACHED
Not even a TERN to keep my eyes on... I shouldn't've practised what BEELZEBUB
Preached...
I'm condemned to eternal WATER TORTURE
This time the decider has shown no quarter
I just had a backyard coathanger job from the SINNER SORTER, SOUL ABORTER
FIRE AND WATER  FIREWATER  WATER TORTURE  WATER TORTURE!!!
Must've bought my life from a used car salesman... only one previous owner
I must've bought my life from a used car salesman... one previous owner...
A little old lady... wish she'd driven it to church on Sunday
Four flat tyres - break an AXLE one day
That drip drip drip is making me sick/That drip drip drip is making me sink
That drip drip drip is making me drink/That drip drip drip is making me sick
I'm condemned to eternal WATER TORTURE
This time the decider has shown no quarter
I JUST HAD A BACKYARD COATHANGER JOB FROM THE SINNER SORTER, SOUL
ABORTER
FIRE AND WATER  FIREWATER  WATER TORTURE   WATER TORTURE!!!
WATER TORTURE   WATER TORTURE   WATER TORTURE   WATER TORTURE