Johnny wiped out 

He can't walk 

He's got a prosthetic hip 

(yeah yeah) 

And Jenny don't care 

She can't talk 

She got Prozac 'scrip' 

(oh no) 

And daddy's alright 

Just retired 

He's got an artificial heart 

(yeah yeah) 

But mommy don't mind 

She gets her loving 

At the Jiffy Mart 

(oh no) 

 

And they look so sad 

In their regulation check-out clothes 

It makes me so glad 

That I'm not one of those 

No, I'm not one of those 

 

Will Jimmy's going down 

But it's okay 

He's got elevator shoes 

(yeah yeah) 

And sissy got a jones 

Riding her bones 

She got the methadone blues 

(oh no) 

But I'm on hold 

And I don't mind 

I've got the muzak groove 

(yeah yeah) 

Cause it's gone cold 

But I won't fight 

Cause I'm born to lose 

(oh no) 

 

And they look so sad 

In their regulation check-out clothes 

It makes me so glad 

That I'm not one of those 

No, I'm not one of those