I got back in town a day before I'd planned to

I smiled and said I'll sure surprise my wife

I don't think I'll phone I'll just head on home

For I didn't know the cold hard facts of life

I passed a little winestore on the corner I pictured pink champagne by candle light

I stopped the car right then got out and hurried in

My mind not on the cold hard facts of life

A stranger stood there laughing by the counter

He said I'll take two bottles of your best

Her husband's out of town and there's a party

He winkled as if to say you know the rest

I left the store two steps behind the stranger

From there to my house his car stayed in sight

But it wasn't till he turned into my drive I learned

I was witnessing the cold hard facts of life

I drove around the block till I was dizzy each time the noise came louder from within

And then I saw our bottle there beside me 

And I drank a fifth of courage and walked in

Oh you should have seen their frantic faces

They screamed and cried please put away that knife

I guess I'll go to hell or rot here in the cell

But who told who the cold hard facts of life who told who the cold hard facts of life