(Talking)
May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please 
will the real slim shady please stand up, 
I repeat will the real slim shady please stand up..... 
we`re gonna have a problem here......... 


(Verse 1) 
Ya`ll act like you never seen a white person before 
jaws all on the floor 
like pam and tommy just burst in the door 
and started whoopin her ass worse than before 
they first were divorced 
throwing her over furniture (aaaaaah) 
It`s the return of the... 
"awww..wait, no wait, you`re kidding, 
he didn`t just say what I think he did, 
did he?" 
and Dr. Dre said... 
nothing you idiots, Dr Dre`s dead 
he`s locked in my bassment 
feminist women love eminem 
chicka chicka chicka slim shady, 
"I`m sick of him, lookit him 
walkin around, grabbin his you know what 
flippin` to you know who" 
"yeah, but he`s so cute though" 
yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose 
but no worse than what`s goin on in your parents bedroom (eheheheh) 
sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose 
but cant, but it`s cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose 
My bum is on your lips, My bum is on your lips 
and if I`m lucky, you might just give it a little kiss 
and that`s the message that we deliver to little kids 
and expect them not to know what a woman`s clitoris is 
of course they`re gonna know what intercourse is 
by the time they hit 4th grade 
they got the discovery channel, dont they? 
we ain`t nothing but mammals 
well, some of us cannibals 
who cut other people open like cantelopes 
but if we can hump dead animals and antelopes 
then there`s no reason that a man and another man can`t elope 
but if you feel like I feel, I got the antedote 
women wave your pantehose, sing the chorus and it goes..............


(Chorus) 
I`m Slim Shady, yes, I`m the real Shady 
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating 
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up 
cause I`m Slim Shady, yes, I`m the real Shady 
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating 
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up 


(Verse 2) 
Will Smith don`t got to cuss in his raps to sell records 
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too 
you think I give a damn about a grammy 
half of you critics can`t even stomach me, let alone stand me 
"but slim, what if you win, wouldn`t it be weird" 
why? so you guys can just lie to get me here 
so you can sit me here next to britney spears 
shit,Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs 
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst 
and hear em argue over who she gave head to first 
little bitch, put me on blast on MTV 
"yeah, he`s cute, but I think he`s married to Kim, hee hee" 
I should download her audio on MP3 
and show the world how you gave eminem VD (aaaaaah) 
I`m sick of you little girl and boy groups 
all you do is annoy me 
so I have been sent here to destroy you 
and there`s a million of us just like me 
who cuss like me, who just don`t give a fuck like me 
who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me 
and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me................. 


(Chorus) 
I`m Slim Shady, yes, I`m the real Shady 
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating 
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up 
cause I`m Slim Shady, yes, I`m the real Shady 
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating 
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up 


(Verse 3) 
I`m like a head trip to listen to 
cause I`m only givin you things 
you joke about with your friends inside you livin` room 
the only difference is I got the balls to say it 
in front of ya`ll and I aint gotta be false or sugar coated at all 
I just get on the mic and spit it 
and whether you like to admit it (riiip) 
I just shit it better than 90% you rappers out can 
then you wonder how can 
kids eat up these albums like valiums 
it`s funny,cause at the rate I`m going when I`m thirty 
I`ll be the only person in the nursing home flirting 
pinchin nurses asses when I`m jackin off with jergen`s 
and I`m jerkin` but this whole bag of viagra isn`t working 
in every single person there`s a slim shady lurkin 
he could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings 
or in the parking lot, circling, screamin I dont give a fuck 
with his windows down and his system up 
so will the real shady please stand up 
and put 1 of those fingers on each hand up 
and be proud to be outta your mind and outta control 
and 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go? ................. 


(Chorus) 
I`m Slim Shady, yes, I`m the real Shady 
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating 
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up 
cause I`m Slim Shady, yes, I`m the real Shady 
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating 
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up 


cause I`m Slim Shady, yes, I`m the real Shady 
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating 
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up 
cause I`m Slim Shady, yes, I`m the real Shady 
all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating 
so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up 


(Talking) 
haha guess it`s a slim shady in all of us........ fuck it let`s all stand up