Ok, I'm going to attempt to drown myself.

You can try this at home,

You can be just like me.

 

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jan Brady

I'm a M80, you Lil' like that Kim lady

I'm buzzin, Dirty Dozen, naughty rotten rhymer

Cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer

You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from

You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album

Admit it, fuck it, while we comin out in the open

I'm doin acid, crack, smack, coke and smokin dope then

My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic

I have a disease and they don't know what to call it

Better hide your wallet cause I'm comin up quick to strip your cash

Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass

Bitch, I'm comin out swingin, so fast it'll make your eyes spin

You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson 

The +Proof+ is in the puddin, just ask the Deshaun Holton

I'll slit your motherfuckin throat worse than Ron Goldman



Something's not right

I'm sorry,

I'm mentally retarded

Slim Shady

I think thats my name



This place is my house, I might as well erase my face wit white-out

Cuz y'all can't see me like Mase's eyebrows (where you at?)

Climped out of a nice house,

through the front window and heard this guy shout

"Hey that's my couch, bitch!"

Pull a nine out during a rhyme bout

While I'm rippin this shit, put a clip in it spit five rounds

And murder you hoes worse than a convertible flippin vertical

Nose first wit the top off landin upside-down

You're tied down and duct-taped, fuck rape

I'd rather just hump a slut's leg wit my nuts shaved

And Sway & Tech, two disk jokeys

Breakin so many friggin needles I wonder if they inject



Something's not right

I'm sorry,

I'm mentally retarded

Slim Shady

I think thats my name



I'm ice grillin you, starin you down with a gremlin grin

I'm Eminem, you're a fag in a women's gym

I'm Slim, the Shady is really a fake alias

to save me with in case I get chased by space aliens

A brainiac, with a cranium packed, full of more uranium

than a maniac Saudi Arabian

A highly combustible head, spazmatic

strapped to a Kraftmatic adjustable bed

Laid up in the hospital in critical condition

I flatlined; jumped up and ran from the mortician

High speed, IV full of thai weed

Lookin Chinese, with my knees stuck together like siamese

twins, joined at the groin like lesbians

Uhh, pins and needles, hypodermic needles and pins

I hope God forgives me for my sins -- it probably all depends

on if I keep on killin my girlfriends



Something's not right

I'm sorry,

I'm mentally retarded

Slim Shady

I think thats my name



Last night I O.D.'d on rush, mushrooms and dust

and got rushed to the hospital to get my system flushed

(Shucks!) I'm an alcoholic and that's all I can say

I call in to work, cause all I do is frolic and play

I swallow grenades, and take about a bottle a day

of Tylenol 3, and talk about how violent I'll be (RRARRRRH)

Give me eleven Excederin my head'll spin

Medicine'll get me revvin like a 747 jet engine

Scratched my balls til I shredded skin

"Doctor, check this rash, look how red it's been"

"It's probably AIDS!" Forget it then

I strike a still pose and hit you with some ill flows

that don't even make sense, like dykes usin dildos