Mio c-u-g-g-i-n-o (my cousin)

My cousin told me about the time
that he had a real bad crash on his motorbike
My cousin......My cousin
Then my cousin said that when he took off
his crash helmet his head split in two
My cousin......My cousin
My cousin took off his helmet
My cousin's head plit in two

My cousin told me about the time
he found a dog on the beach
but it turned out to be a mouse
(I just can't believe it....
My cousin told me that too)!!
My cousin......My cousin
My cousin told me about the time
he slept with a girl who left him
a message on the mirror which said
"Welcome to AIDS"
(the same the same the same the same)!!
My cousin......My cousin
My cousin mouse and doggie
My cousin welcome to AIDS

My cousin......My cousin
And my cousin's well-respected
A friend of everybody's
My cousin's done this and that
And my cousin is my protector
When the others come to hit me
'cause I call on my cousin
I mean - I call out for my cousin

My cousin told me about the time
he met a girl who went around with no bra on
Stighidin, stighidin, stish stidun aaah
My cousin......My cousin

My cousin told me about the time
he met a chick in a discoteque
who didn't remember anything and in the
end she woke up in a ditch
and she was all wet and she realized
there was something missing
and it was one of her kidneys
My cousin......My cousin
My cousin told me that he knows a karate chop
and if he hits you with it after three days you die
My cousin......My cousin
My cousin told me that when he was a kid,
he once died

My cousin......My cousin
And my cousin's a popular person
A friend of everybody's
My cousin's done this and that
And my cousin's my protector
When the others come to hit me
Because I call on my cousin
Actually, you know what I'm gonna tell you
I call out for my cousin

My cousin......My cousin
My cousin's really quite worrying
And he talks in burps
Ciao how's it goin'?
My cousin's done this and that
The car he crashed, the ass he kicked
My cousin is really bad
But it's a product of the mind
I mean, he produced a batch of mint
But he was not authorized
So they put him into prison
Uuuuehhh'
Yes OK to Free Mandela
Free Valpreda and all the others
But Free also My cousin
I mean - set free also my cousin
Na na nai, my cousin na na nai

I just can't believe it:
I heard the same story, exactly the same one!
Could it be that we're related?
What's your surname, anyway?
Sorry, to see if it's the same person we're talking about
Let me ask: - Your cousin, when he had haemorrhoids,
did the cork also pop out and injure the nurse,
like it did with my cousin?
I know that nurse, by the way,
because she treated me once when I was small.
They shot me, I didn't die, but the bullets hit the spider
that at that very minute was coming out
of the Tree of Happiness.
So what did I do? With my white crocodile friend who
lives in the sewers of New York,
we went to the emergency room to
visit some friends who were having things removed
from them, things like oranges, bottles, door knobs,
door, dogs, dicks....
When at a certain point, who did I see?
I just couldn't believe it!!!
It was the emergency room plastic surgeon
that I liked the best;
what a day.......WHAT A DAY!!!!!!

(Translator's note: Valpreda was an infamous Italian terrorist in the
seventies