Hey! do you know what you are? 
Youre an asshole! an asshole!

Some of you might not agree
cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see...
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole? 
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too? 
Whatcha gonna do, cause youre an asshole...

Maybe you think youre a lonely guy
Maybe you think youre too tough to cry
So you went to the grape,
Just to give it a try
And dagmar
Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in 
my life
Was his name...
One two three four!
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
And yet he was a beautiful lady
Nearly drove you insane
Lets talk about leather: leatherrrrrr
And so you kissed a little sailor
Tex abel, starring in the latest shepperton production:
Who had just blew in from spain
Sir richard pump-a-loaf
You sniffed the reeking buns of angel
The story of a demented bread-boffer
And acted like it was cocaine
Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of ko-ko
Then on tuesday night, ceasars back in town
In a way you cant explain
Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
With kona.
Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of samoan dynamite
Which gave your back an awful strain
Volcanic hell
But you came back on sunday for the gong show
Next thursday, teen towns finest...
But you forgot what I was sayin
cause youre an asshole, youre an asshole
Thats right
Youre an asshole, youre an asshole
Yes, yes
Youre an asshole, youre an asshole
Thats right
Youre an asshole, youre an asshole

Now you been to the grape n you been to the chest
n now I think you know what you are: youre an asshole

You say you cant live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you aint got one on the bottom of 
you,
But dont fool yerself girl
Its lookin at you
Dont fool yerself girl
Its winkin at you
Dont fool yerself girl
Its blinkin at you
Thats why I say
Im gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Fist fuck
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Wrist-watch; crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Pud!

Dont fool yerself, girl
Its goin right up yer poop chute
Dont fool yerself, girl
Its goin right up yer poop chute
(etc., repeats)

Aw, I knew youd be surprised...