(Burrrrp) Oh, yeah, oh, you son of a bitches

(It gets so fuckin' crabby in this booth, man)

(It's like 90 degrees in here)

(Smells like cigarettes in a toilet)

 

(I'm gonna build) a Stepfather Factory

The latest in technology

Stepfather Factory

Jobs for the community

A Stepfather Factory         

The age of familial industry

A Stepfather Factory

Building tomorrow's fathers today

A Stepfather Factory

The latest in technology

Stepfather Factory

Jobs for the community

A Stepfather Factory         

The age of familial industry

Building tomorrow's fathers today

 

Spilling the leftovers of [creational clique]

We grew with the concept now we're ready to go public

Today's a big day for the company

A big step for the little-steppers who slept for years uncomfortably

Little man, little lady, cute little baby

Reach your hand out to the future of automated robotics

On display here for the first time in under a year here

At the World's fair - but is it really?

Ladies and Gentlemen I propose that the market

is sinking under the weight of useless contraptions

added to the shopping carts of all hard-working families

Electric doodads and wizard hats [exist] to keep the munchkins entertained

But get replaced by newer versions such as breakdown systematically

Mothers - how many times have you debated sub-euthanasia tablets for breakfast snacks

When restlessness attacks seemingly at random?

With an emptiness inside that's hard to identify, maybe

Pursuing obvious like pill-popping [the cossanova edict]

Chances are you've been abandoned

Well I'm no scientist, that's not what I went to school for

And I'm not a doctor, so I don't know much about medicine

But I'm willing to bet that you, yes you little

what's your name sweetheart? (dada) yeah, whatever

Get a funny feeling in your tummy when your mommy cries

Something between woozy and confusion

And you spend your thoughts on how the sadnessin your mommy

can be rooted out, burned, scorched, turned out, forgotten

Different concepts than the candy and little baby dolls or

Whatever it is that normal kids get to think about

Well I can honestly say that this invention is,

Let me start by saying we've grafted only the finest stuff

Inserted the most high tech, state of the art, with brain charted for authentic

Truly human emotion and trained to be domestic

Made from the most easily available materials and, uh, loosely inspected

Guaranteed to revolutionize

Perfectly realistic and even somewhat institutionally respected 

Robotic relative

 

(That's why I'm gonna build) a Stepfather Factory

The latest in technology

A Stepfather Factory

Jobs for the community

A Stepfather Factory         

The age of familial industry

A Stepfather Factory

Building tomorrow's fathers today

A Stepfather Factory

The latest in technology

A Stepfather Factory

Jobs for the community

Stepfather Factory             

The age of familial industry

I'm not only the president, I'm a client

 

So you purchased a paternal unit, class A type 1

A new addition to your living room space, watch it go

Have your warranty for at least 90 days, so have fun

If in that time frame there's a problem, please let us know

Before you start there's a few details that you must learn

Technical specs about your unit to make things run smooth

In an effort to find an energy source our company's learned 

The cheapest way to keep his battery running is with booze

Plug it in, give it a name, man of the house, help sustain

Wear the pants, you can relax, [water the pad], nucular fam [ordered a nucleus]

Brings us to the safety chapter

Section 87 in your handbook subsection 16 entitled

Troubleshooting

Fuel sources are at a slight risk of mixing

With the crispy plutonium center

Of your automated new spouse and then driven

Possibly leading to the unpredicted stimulation of its artificial emotion circuits

And in a few unsubstantiated clinical trials this condition

has led to simulated feelings of resentment and worthlessness

Manifested in the highly unlikely but still possible act

of physical aggression towards you and your loved ones fleshy surfaces

 

Remember, no cash returns

Only credits towards future purchases

 

"Why are you hurting me?

I love you."

 

"Why are you hurting me?

I love you."

 

"Why are you hurting me?

I love you."