(Intro)
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy BirthdayÂ…
Hey, hey, hey, waitÂ… What are you doing?
I'm doing a birthday song
A birthday song?
Yeah, a birthday song.
We don't do birthday songs like that, we don't do any songs like that.
Come on ,You know how we do songs.
What are you getting at?
We do em' like thisÂ… If you were a hug I'd hug it.
OK, Ok, I get it, let's do it.
Alright, let's go. 

(Song Begins) 
If you were a hug, I'd hug it,
if you were a wink, I'd wink it.
And though I love you so, it's only fair for you to know,
if you were a booger, I'd flick it.

Oh boogers they can be so sticky
that's why I never ever wipe any on me
that simple little warning to you.

If you were a flower, I'd smell it
and be sure I never let nobody crush it
And though I love you so, it's only fair for you to know,
if you were a turd I'd flush it.

Oh turds they can be so icky
whether brown or green they are really stinky
my mom says use a tissue, and I do that's why I issue
that bit of advice just for you.

We know this birthday song's decrepit
and it's not at all what you expected
on this day we tried to make light, and besides you're not quite right
that's what makes it the right birthday song for you.

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy BirthdayÂ…