On the Hogwarts Express with Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy

Chillin' out, maxin, compartment 3B

Well, it was too much to expect privacy

‘Specially with a reject like our friend, Harry

That's when I started talking about Voldemort

‘Cause I was explaining my sweet new posish

Thought I saw a shoe or a small piece of fish

No, it was a shoe that my two eyes did see

Under a cloak of invisibility

Just then a thought started creeping up on me

I knew exactly what I'd do

Make you wish you acted more quickly

And that I'd never seen your shoe



I'm gonna kick you in the face

I might do it twenty seven times just in case

I know nothing could ever replace

The picture in my mind of your kicked-in face



After they left I went through with my plan

And tied a tight knot around each of your hands

Made you listen to Stryper and “Enter Sandman”

Made you hear “Rio” by Duran Duran

You didn't like it, what is wrong with you?



That made me angry, I was so upset

I kicked you so hard that your pants you did wet

You looked like somebody took a small baby

Stuck it in a blender and turned on puree 



I just kicked you in the face

Hey, Harry Potter, how does your blood taste?

I know nothing could ever replace

The picture in my mind of your kicked-in face



I just kicked you in the face

Hey, Mr. Potter, how does your blood taste?

I know nothing could ever replace

The picture in my mind of your kicked-in face

The picture in my mind of your kicked-in face