Now handsome guys get girls that are pretty

Other guys get 'em 'cos they're clever and witty

But the only love I ever get, I get out of pity

'Cos I'm the ugliest man in town



I drive down the road in a Rolls Royce car

Use hundred dollar bills when I light my cigar

But still you know, that won't get you very far

When you're the ugliest man in town



There was a note on the doorstep where I was found

It said this sweet child weighs eleven pounds

So bring him up healthy and wealthy and stout

Keep his back to the light, don't let it turn around



Yeah all you women you're heartless and cold

All you want is my silver and gold

And don't you know that there's a beautiful soul

Inside the ugliest man in town



[Boy do I got plans for us]



Yeah I'm so ugly I shave in the dark

Kids start to cry when I walk through the park

Clocks stop ticking and dogs start to bark

Whenever I come around



Yeah I walk down the street and the girls all hiss me

If I die tomorrow not one of them would miss me

Only reason they ball me is they can't stand to kiss me

I'm the ugliest man in town



Yeah I'm the ugliest man in town



[You know a guy as ugly as you man could use a manager.

You know what I mean? Just sign this small piece of paper

here man. You can give me a couple of bucks a week, a couple

of free meals man. I'll take you all over the world. We'll

go to Japan baby, they'll love you over there baby.

They'll make another monster movie with you hahahaha]



(c) Unknown