I gel my hair up with an ounce of Brylcreem
Power my car on gasoline
Rinse my mouth out with Listerine
And go through a thousand tubs of Vaseline

I've got the acting abilities of Nicholas Cage.
I like baked potatoes with mayonnaise.
Chicken Salad sandwiches just seem to be the craze.
Red hot chili Walkers Crisps but only on Wednesdays.

I had head lice once in 1997
Everyday since then has been absolute heaven.
Do all my shopping at the 7eleven.
And have a 3 week timeshare at a cottage in Devon.

I like a coca cola with a large amount of ice.
Sweet and sour chicken and a tub of egg fried rice.
My favorite Television show is called dancing on ice.
And my earlobes are bigger than those of Obie Trice.

Angry Mango is my nickname
On twitter and You tube
Don't know to to end this verse so something anal lube.

I like kitkats and Crunchie bars
M&M's are OK But Chewits are too hard
Milky ways just don't taste right, I think I'll have a mars.

Golf is for people with low self esteem
My teeth hurt when eating ice cream
Howard Stern was in a Pub I think it was a dream.
And The Simpsons' on the tele cos' I recognize the theme.

My phone has started ringing so I'd better answer it.
It's getting rather late now so I'm going to brush my teeth.