I did cocaine with David Blaine
He made my coke disappear, mayne
We pulled the train off Ms. Love Hewitt
She knows what I did last summer, stupid
Oh please, Tara Reid
Took her to eat and she was scared of the beef
So I had to f*ck Jessica Simpson
In the kitchen, while she was fixing some chicken
And her little sister Ashley
Was waiting in the pantry,
Spreading her a**cheeks
Yelling, "Dirt Nasty!"
Tell 'em I said
Hurry up with the Teriyaki
Then I did Demi in the pooper
With a semi, she thought I was Kutcher (man)
Dude I heard a rumor. (What's that?)
Alyssa Milano is good for a nooner
And I ain't mad
At Jennifer Aniston, took it in the a** at the Hotel Radison
Her Dad thought it was the Pitt's
'Cause when he walked in,
I was pinchin' her ti*s
Now picture this,
I got a photo, of Fred Durst's di*k
It's about an inch
For real, I stole it from his bitch
Some think that I'm phony homie
I play with my penis like Adrien Brody.
F*ck you sue me
I'll be sniffin' ruffies with George Clooney

L.A. is like Groundhog Day
Same old sh*t never f*cking rains
Droppin' Names
What a shame
Never thought I'd Turn out this way
(Repeat)

I bursted the c*nt
Drew first blood on Kirsten Dunst.
And what about the Olsens?
At the Golden Globes,
Holdin' my scrotum
Where to f*ck Hillary Duff?
I'mma make her smoke dust and choke nuts
No I'm not kiddin'
I'll Moulin Douche Nicole Kidman
Head spinnin' from the Vodka
Courtney Cox sucked my c*ck in a Mazda.
Like John Belushi
In the parking lot, bombin' on Tom Cruise
His d*ck's like a needle
Mine's Titanic, ask Leo
Or Vin Diesel
We were shootin' Speed in his agent's Regel
I'm harming my rectum (HMM)
Pardon my French, Carmen Electra
And Haley Joel Osment
Is gonna be doin' coke before his balls be droppin.
My nards aren't clean,
I've been partying with Charlie Sheen.
Hey Angelina Jolie
Why don't you put them lips on my Roman Cannoli
Like Monica Bellucci
I heard the c**chie, smells like Bleu Cheese.
I'm horny for beaver.
Gimme a call, Sigourney Weaver.

L.A. is like Groundhog Day
Same old sh*t never f*cking rains
Droppin' Names
What a shame
Never thought I'd Turn out this way
(Repeat)