Behold the way our fine feathered friend
His virtue doth parade
Thou knowest not, my dim-witted friend
The picture thou hast made
Thy vacant brow, and thy tousled hair
Conceal thy good intent
Thou noble upright truthful sincere
And slightly dopey gent, you are...

My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, un-photographable
Yet, you're my favorite work of art

Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But, don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's Day

(Orchestral Break)

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak
Are you smart?

But, don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay little valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's Day