Kiss my ass,
'Cause I'm American
Don't care if gas hits eleven bucks or more
I drive an SUV that could fit fourteen of me
Kiss my ass!
Kiss my ass!
Kiss my ass!

Oh, this crazy world (this crazy world)
It's a ticking time bomb
Any day (any day) could be the last
And that I gotta see
On my new 3-D TV
Kiss my ass!
Kiss my big fat lazy ass!
(Kiss my ass!)

Tornadoes almost wiped out Alabama
Nuclear tsunami in Japan
I wonder if we're heading
For some kind of Armageddon
'Cause I wanna watch it on the smart-phone in my hand
(Kiss my ass!)
And kiss my balls!
(Kiss his balls!)
'Cause I don't give a shit
About war (about war) or poverty, yeah
The world's a fucking mess
And I could not care less
'Cause I'll be on my sofa playing Wii

(Caring!)
Kiss my ass!
(Sharing!)
Kiss my ass!
(Volunteering!)
Hahahaaaa!
(Voting)
Well, actually voting is a really, really important part of the democratic process
Because if you don't get out there and vote you know what happens?
You don't find out who the winner is on American Idol

So kiss my ass!
(Kiss his ass)
Go ahead and pucker up
(Go pucker up)
Kiss my ass!
It's like the Blarney Stone!
I know it smells like crap
And there's no app for that
Kiss my ass!
(It's a blast!)
Kiss it slow
(Kiss it fast)
Kiss my skinny
Irish
Emmy losing ass!
(Kiss my big old ass!)