My kitchen floor started cracking
And out jumped a man
Big, red and horny
I was shaking the devils hand
You've got a hell of a reputation
That's the name of my game
Been digging all night
'Cause I heard your name
Got a mean main reason have no fear
But first we'll plays some poker
And have a warm beer
Let's play a little poker
And have a nize hot beer

I will smash your windows burn your mail
I tied ten knots on the devils tail
I can eat a horse even chew nail
I tied ten knots on the devils tail
D.A.D. wouldn't cross his trail
'Cause I tied ten knots on the devils tail
He's the toughest man and he can't fail
But I tied ten knots on the devils taaaaiiiiil

I sat down to the table
With the man that I once feared
He was drinking, humming, drinking
And scratching his beard
So we drank for about a fortnight
It seemed like some stupid test
Still I was sitting upright
Doing the things that I do best
But the poor devil looked mess

I will smash your windows...

Though he was red
He seemed kind of pale
Then I tied ten knots
On the devils tail
I dumped him in his hole
Heard the echoes of the scream
Hey boyscout from below
Now tell me who's mean!

I won't smash your windows...

I'm so rough I spent summer in jail
'Cause I tied ten knots on the devils tail
I'm so mean I could out-fart a gale
But I tied ten knots on the devils tail