never put your hat on the bed, son, never put your hat on the bed 

cuz if your hat's on the bed you might wake up dead 

so don't ya never put ya hat on the bed 

and if you do be sure it's upside down, son, if you do be sure it's upside down 

cuz if there's any doubt, it keeps the luck from runnin' out 

so if you do be sure it's upside down 

never throw a match when it's dry, son, never throw a match when it's dry 

don't you never throw a match cuz the grass might catch 

and burn three counties when it's dry 


always keep an edge on yr knife, son, always keep an edge on yr knife 

cuz a good sharp edge is a man's best hedge against the vague uncertainties of life 

yes, a good sharp edge is a man's best hedge against the uncertain vagaries of life 

but i never could sharpen no knife, like the one who gave the advice 

and I never could sharpen no blade, quite the way he sayed 


yodel-ay 


never sell the old .22, son, never sell the old .22 

cause the old .22's shot a gopher or two 

so don'tcha never sell the old .22 

aim it to the left, a little low, son, aim it to the left, a little low 

cuz the old iron sight fires high and to the right 

so aim it to the left, a little low 

always tip the glass when you pour son, always tip the glass when you pour 

cuz if you don't tip the glass, well the foam, it comes fast 

and runs from the table to the floor 


always put your horse away dry, son, always put your horse away dry 

cuz a hot, wet horse ain't healthy of course 

so always put your horse away dry 

and be sure to thaw the bit when it's cold, son, be sure to thaw the bit when it's cold 

cuz if you don't thaw the bit then your pony's tongue sticks 

to the frozen, metal bridle when it's cold 

never judge a man by his clothes, son, never judge a man by his clothes 

you gotta look through the dirt and, lord, judge him by his work 

don'tcha never judge a man by his clothes