Paul Keating:
Hey, good evening, I'm Paul
Pleased to meet you all
You had some dinner to eat, now you got a good seat
See, there's nothing wrong with being inner-city elite
I'm the star of the show
You prob'ly already know
But if you're out of the loop,
You'll be in need of the scoop,
So let me recap so that you can recoup.

I grew up on Bankstown bitumen
Mum and Dad were down in the ditch and then
They had a vision of a picture and
The picture they drew - came true!

It might have taken a while
But they made quite a pile
And the lesson was learned, penny saved, penny earned,
But you might as well do it in style.

I left school at fifteen
Made the Labor scene
I learned how to survive,
Watched Whitlam thrive
And I made the front bench in '75
Opposition was tough
But when we'd suffered enough
With steely looks, we overtook the schnooks
And we shook the crooks out of cooking the books.

I hate the Treasury jiggery-pokery
I keep my money in a piggery locally
It's funny but it's okely-dokely
We made an accord - good Lord!

Why be mercantile
If you can't crack a smile?
And if you're bringin' home the hog for the drover's dog,
You might as well do it in style. Boys...

Band:
You might as well do it in style.

[Saxophone solo]

Keating:
Perhaps you noticed the suit
I think it makes me look cute
A good couturier can have a lot to say
And when you're in a Zegna then you're on your way
I'm on my way to see Bob
He's gonna give me his job
He showed a lot of nous in Kirribilli House, he made a fealty deal to really douse my grouse.

I've been a model of loyal bonhomie
It's time to honour the deal he promised me
Because I know he's a man of honesty
I lent him my ears - for two years!

That's why I dress to impress
I'm on the road to success
Hey Bobby J, get outta my way,
I know the answer is...
I know the answer is...
I know the answer is...

Bob Hawke:
[Spoken] Aaaaauugrhhhh...