Since first you blew in like a boisterous breeze
I often have wondered, Dear
Why gentlemen all seem to fall on their knees
The moment that you appear
Your fetching physique is hardly unique
You're mentally not so hot
You'll never win laurels because of your morals
But I'll tell you what you've got.....

You've got that thing, you've got that thing
That thing that makes birds forget to sing
Yes, you've got that thing, that certain thing

You've got that charm, that subtle charm
That makes young farmers desert the farm
'Cause you've got that thing, that certain thing

You've got what Adam craved when he
With love for Eve was tortured
She only had an apple tree
But you, you've got an orchard

You've got those ways, those taking ways
That make me rush off to Cartier's
For a wedding ring, you've got that thing

You've got that thing, you've got that thing
That thing that makes vines prefer to cling
Yes, you've got that thing, that certain thing

You've got those looks, those fatal looks
That make book censors enjoy their books
'Cause you've got that thing, that certain thing

Just what made Samson be, for years
Delilah's lord and keeper
She only had a pair of shears
But you, you've got a reaper

You've got that power, that power to grip
That makes me map out a wedding trip
For the early spring, you've got that thing

You've got that thing, you've got that thing
That thing that makes bees refuse to sting
Yes, you've got that thing, that certain thing

You've got that kiss, that kiss that warms
That makes reformers reform reforms
'Cause you've got that thing, that certain thing

They tell us Trojan Helen's lips
Made every man her slavey
If her face launched a thousand ships
Well, yours could launch a navy

You've got that that love, and such a lot
It makes me think you're prepared for what
Any stork might bring, you've got that thing