I wish I had my picture, on the Rolling Stone today
and I wish that the enquire, would spread a rumor that I was gay
and I wish I had me some buddys, some moviestars and such
and I probably wouldn't worry about, the two of us this much

And I spend all my money on caviar and cocaine
and I would not remember, how you broke my heart today

I wish I had a supermodel, so skinny and so wild
and a waitress in Nevada, she says she's carrying my child
and I drive down Sunset Boulevard, my hair blowing in the wind

And I spend all my money on caviar and cocaine
and I would not remember, how you broke my heart today

I wish I had my picture, with the Rolling Stones today
and I wish that the enquire, would spread a rumor that I was gay
and I wish I had me a superstar girlfriend, someone like Lisa Marie
'cause if she married Michael Jackson, maybe she'd hang out with me

And I spend all my money on caviar and rogaine
and I would not remember, how you broke my heart today

[Thanks to Jim B for lyrics]