There's a part of me which hopes the Christians got it right:
That God is real and Hell exists where sinners burn.
'Cause then I know we'll meet again, upon a flame-lit, starless night;
Chained side by side to stand in line and wait our turn.

I'd love to spend eternity in purgatory with you,
Each breath of living death evokes a sweet nightmare, it's true.
Forever wracked with torment seems a paltry price to pay,
If they'll let me be your devil for a day.

'Tis often said the good die young - that's how we lived so young.
And none deserve damnation more than we.
So I'll raise a hearty toast when I feel my buttocks roast.
Glad just knowing you're there suffering with me.

Your pretty pleas for mercy I'm afraid will be in vain,
We compliment each other like the martyr and his pain
My soul hangs in the balance - let them have their wicked way,
If they'll let me be your devil for a day.

Love is blind, unkind and stupid,
Just another stunt for Cupid
Vile in the games we play
Purple patch - black lies betray
Humans are such futile creatures
Shallow-minded and capricious
Underhanded, cruel, deceitful
Hell is merely other people.

They'll torture me without restraint,
I'll take it all - make no complaints,
A smile across my broken face will play,
If they'll let me be your devil,
In my duties I would revel,
If they'll let me be your devil for a day.

Love is blind, unkind and stupid,
Just another stunt for Cupid
Vile in the games we play
Purple patch - black lies betray
Humans are such futile creatures
Shallow-minded and capricious
Underhanded, cruel, deceitful
Hell is merely other people.