Diageo Diageo have mounted a Crusade
Creating Arthur's Day they've suckered us into their charade
Start 'em off on Alco-Pops tastes just like lemonade
Get 'em into the hit while they're young and none the wiser
Diageo pump the volume up on Arthur's Day
With The Manic Street Preachers, Primal Scream, Tom Jones and David Gray
To flog their alcohol they're revvin the youngsters up for a mighty spree
Twitter and Facebook tellin them where The Mumfords 'r gonna be

Happy Happy Happy Happy Arthur's Day
Its such…. a Happy Clappy Advertisin' Scheme
Drink sensibly they implore us, as their Hosannas sound a never-ending chorus
'n kids get hooked on the fantasies that flash before us

Arthurs Alcoholiday is comin' round again
He's the patron saint of porter canonized by the Advertisin' Men
The medics in the ambulance 'll be workin overtime,
The A&E 'll be like a drunk tank in the firing line
While Diageo goes AWOL at closing time