I saw Mrs. Parker at the store today,

she was buyin' some food

I walked up to her and I said "Hey!"

"When's the baby due?"



She said "Baby?"

"I'm not having a baby,"

"what you talkin' about?"

I said "Sorry... Mrs. Parker"

I put my foot in my mouth



(chorus)

I got my foot in my mouth,

guess I should watch what I say,

I got my foot in my mouth,

it's prob'ly better that way



I took my brother to the mall last Christmas,

to see Santa and his sleigh,

I said "Aren't you glad that you're old enough,"

"to know that Santa is fake?"



He said "Fake? Santa's not fake!"

"What you talkin about?"

I said "No, I didn't tell ya Santa was fake!"

"I said...Santa's great..."

I put my foot in my mouth



(chorus)



"here's the last verse"



I was braggin' to a friend of mine

how I ran over this cat,

I said "His name was fluffy, cause I read the tag..."

"right after I squashed him flat"



She said "Fluffy? My cat's name is Fluffy! He was my best friend."

I said "No, I didn't say his name was Fluffy!" 

"I said his name was... Twinkles"

here I go again...



(chorus x2)