Yeah  crazy ups and downs you know what I'm sayin'? Crazy how the
 world
 runs  word up. Check it out. Bring it on.
 Hook:
 Lord I try to keep positive  but this life is full of strife
 And I'm tired of trying to conquer it
 Lord always thinking negative what will go wrong will go wrong
 Until the beast in me vanishes
 Verse 1:
 First of all I was born under a bad sign  confinded to torcher
 Never saw what life had to offer
 Time slips away like pop singles on the radio
 Chino never had the doe, I was determined though
 Sabotaged at birth, cursed by an evil angel to strangle
 My aspirations from every angle
 From a street corner to a demo deal from Warner
 Hardcore performer, crowd warmer, thought it was on but it wasn't
 I never got no budget, stuck like a glue trap
 It goes to prove that
 Being the greatest lyricist can't paint the full picture
 It's a full mixture, I can't get no, no satisfaction
 Like being blind watching a movie with no closed caption
 I need some time to ease my mind, I'm bested
 Fuck Mr. Wendal my Development is Arrested
 All I wanted to do was rock with my fast ass
 And blast past the mass, collect quick cash
 Did what I did best create, but began to hate
 All these flake music people makin' artists wait
 But I'm a be up there one day
 And soon to slam wax innovate rhymes that my fans consume
 I view this world through my notepad
 Thus expanding my vocab to win, till then, it's all bad
 Hook (x2)
 Verse 2:
 When I was merely a sophmore, went to Atlanta on a false tour
 This ain't what I prayed so hard for
 Dreams broken into individual particles like porcelain
 Figurings attached to me like barnacles
 Now I'm suppose to be happy like Bobby McFerrin
 Keep faith, the only thing holy is the drawers I'm wearin'
 89' I aimed to graduate, no exaggerate
 Evaporating positive energy from inside of me
 To the point where my love for God no more provides for me
 Of course lost pride, obviously the force rides
 To paradise nobody invites but puts the Bill Of Rights
 1430 SAT proving ya, I'm a spick that'll die respective like Rahoul
 Julia
 So cease with, all that street shit
 Expect MC from Chi kid, you gets the wicked priest shit
 Until I see fit, to open my life strife like the pearly gates of
 heaven
 For ? entertainment this is my expression
 Prepare wealth and I'll share self, maybe I can help
 But I'm lost but I be large anywhere else
 The ill eagle, twisted, war novelist
 The problem swallowed us, it takes an activated mind to follow this
 And true to realm to be ourselves, not to follow a fad or give in to
 trends
 Till then, it's all bad
 Hook (x2)
 Verse 3:
 Unanswereed prayers plays the background, I pull my baseball caps down
 I hide the tracks of my tears from rapping peers
 I finally got on and soon he wasn't a moment to
 I lose my mind, I lose my friends, my daughter and a coma too
 I'm going through a strange tug of war inside my mental wall
 Record just went platinum, I'm slapping 'em, I'll show you all
 Cover of Rolling Stones, Vibe even TV Guide
 Was filming my first movie in L.A. when I heard my baby died
 Shook it off without a thought that she was beautiful
 Soul Train Awards I go to not my daughters funeral
 I stay drunk and high like I'm imperial
 Surrounded by more white groupies than a Rakim video
 Now life's a tour to me, except the way I was rejected formally
 Disrespected neighborhoods I know supported me
 It's eating me, suicide attemps repeatedly
 What I worked so hard for, ultimately is defeating me
 I'm paranoid my own mom can't avoid being a tabloid
 So she wasn't shocked when my baby flopped
 Caught in the industry, spending money feverishly
 Now I'mve been robbed, I can't believe my laywers did this to me
 Next album was filled up with tragedy and despair
 Fans with smiling faces with no real purpose for being here
 I call the dear Lord when in Billboard
 I plummet from 3 to 10 I guess failure is my new trend
 Thought I was all that, now I just fall flat, splat
 Vails of crack, my old friends won't let me call back
 So where in mind can I find myself a misty storm invisible to God
 I'm falling off like TJ Swan
 Hook (x2