I called him for days, he didn't answer the phone 

I drove by his house, I knew he was home 

A week's worth of papers and mail in the box 

I thought he was dead, I picked the lock 

I found him in tears in the dark on his knees 

With a hole in his chest where his heart used to be 

And he said... 



Don't call the doctor, don't call the nurse 

Call for the lady with the alligator purse 

She knows the spell to lift this curse 

Go find the lady with the alligator purse 



In an old stone house off 21st 

I found the lady with the alligator purse 

She answered the door, said I know who you are 

She lit a candle, consulted the stars 

When I saw her closing that reptile's hide 

I asked her point-blank, is my friend going to die 

And she said... 



I'm not a doctor, I'm not a nurse 

I'm just the lady with the alligator purse 

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst 

So said the lady with the alligator purse 



She said, look at what happened to Cleopatra 

When she didn't take my advice 

And Romeo, Juliet, they didn't get it 

Too bad, those kids were so nice 



By the time we got back to my pitiful pal 

There was no sign of life till he saw the alligator 

Purse on her arm, the gleam in her eyes 

She opened the bag, there was nothing inside 

She said, there's no secret, it's love that I use 

I just carry this bag because it matches my shoes 

And she said... 



Don't call the doctor, don't call the nurse 

Don't call the lady with the alligator purse 

Love is the magic of the universe 

Take it from the lady with the alligator purse 



Love is the magic of the universe 

Take it from the lady with the alligator purse 

The lady with the alligator purse