Baby, pass the aspirin, something’s gotta work
I know I did it to myself but man oh man it hurts
That second last Martini, the one that went down real smooth
Set me on the bender with nothing left to lose

I just can’t apologize
For what I did to myself
My bed’s an ocean liner
And I can’t call for help

Yea baby, it hurts a bunch
The girls got going and we had a munch
I promise on a dime, it’s the last time
I’ll ever have a liquid lunch

I think I’ve got the symptoms and none of them will leave
They think that it’s a party to laugh at all my grief
It must’ve been a doozy, I had two hundred dreams
At least I found my pillow ‘cause I can’t find my keys

It’s hard to remember
All of the events
But I must’ve paid the tab
‘Cause all that’s left is fifty cents

Yea baby, it hurts a bunch
The girls got going and we had a munch
I promise on a dime it’s the last time
I’ll ever have a liquid lunch

Baby, I can call the pharmacy
They’ll bring something up, something up 'toute suite'
Some exotic medicine to cure my every ill
With some kind of magic pill

I just can’t apologize
For what I did to myself
My bed’s an ocean liner
And I can’t call for help

Yea baby, it hurts a bunch
The girls got going and we had a munch
I promise on a dime, it’s the last time
I’ll ever have a liquid lunch