"Alright class. I'm the Professor. I'm going to be giving you the lecture today. Now, just so that we're all clear, this is Gallifreyan History 101, so please make sure you're in the right class.
"There's always one, isn't there?
"Right, for the rest of us, we've got a lot to cover, so let's get started."

At first we were just Gallifreyans and that was fine.
Just taking up space and biding our time.
Till Rassilon came along
With his ever present sense of right and wrong.
He was strong, he was mighty,
He was the founder of Time Lord Society.

Now this is the subject that everyone finds the hardest.
But you're gonna have to pass it if you want to earn your TARDIS.
Nobody's graduating from this Academy
Until you've all mastered Gallifreyan History.
Gallifreyan History.

Now Rassilon had a buddy called Omega;
His interstellar science would amaze ya.
He found our source of power
And devised a cunning plan in under an hour.
It went sour, he was erased.
But at least now we could travel through time and space.

Now if there's a subject that's impossible, it's this.
In comparison, the Untempered Schism's a piece of piss.
Nobody's graduating from this Academy
Until you've all mastered Gallifreyan History.
Gallifreyan History.

So now we're all Time Lords, and that's just fine.
We're travelling through space, bouncing through time.
But we've made it clear not to interfere,
And that's a rule to which we all must adhere.
But I fear that the Doc
Is about causing havoc in his big blue box.

Now that brings up to date and everything's just gravy.
I just hope it doesn't get messed up by Russell T Davies.
Nobody's graduating from this Academy
Until you've all mastered Gallifreyan...
Until you can say you're Gallifreyan...
Until you know all about Gallifreyan History.