(Gibson/Rieser/Rieser)
Well, they called him Super Skier
As he sat around the sundeck,
For he swore that he would never take a spill.
When they finally brought him down
They had to use three toboggans
To carry all the pieces down the hill.
CHORUS:
He was comin' down that slope
Doin' ninety miles an hour
When he caught an edge of his ski.
Well, his clothes, they were fast,
But the slopes, they were faster.
That's the last of Super Skier we shall see.
Well, he hollered, "What the hell!"
As he lined them parallel:
He figured there was nothing more to learn.
(Oh, no...)
And as he started on his way,
He shouted, "Ondelay!",
Assuming that he'd never have to turn.
Well, he was slippin' down that slope
Doin' ninety miles an hour
When a mogul flipped him in the air.
His jumping form was fine
Until he ran into that pine,
And two one-legged skiers left from there.
(repeat CHORUS)
When he left that tree at last,
He was moving twice as fast.
Both halves were skimming moguls like a feather.
He said, "If I must be
A split personality,
How can I ever keep my knees together?"
One ski was headed north,
And the other headed west,
'Cause both of them, you see, were running freer.
And folks up on Little Nell
Looked up, scared as hell,
Said, "It's a bird."  "No, it's a plane."  "It's Super Skier!"
(No, uh, it's a bird.)
(repeat CHORUS)
Now the moral of my story
(Though my story's kinda gory):
For all you sundeck Charlies, there's still hope.
You buy the fastest clothes you can,
Then talk skiing like a man,
But don't let people catch you on the slope!
(repeat CHORUS)
And let's get Charlie off the M. T. A.