King Richard: Oh, Gareth, I try so hard to please her. I invade a kingdom for a jewel, I respect her vow of chastity, yet every day, I hear it over and over again.

Galavant, Galavant
Blah, blah, blah, blah, Galavant
I want her, need her, crave her, yes, it's true
But she is not the only thing I desperately want to do

I want to shoot him with a crossbow
I want to stab him in the eye
I want to liberate his head from his neck
And then, punt the bloody wreck sky high

I want to hurl him out a window
And shove explosives where the sun don't shine
Want to skewer him with swords, then slowly twist them
All around his reproductive system
Won't that be divine, then she'll be mine

Gareth: Everybody, sing!

Guards: And then, you'll do it every evening
K.R: Sweet God, at last!
Guards: In every room on every floor
K.R: Till I can't do it anymore
Gareth: And with no Galavant distracting your bride
K.R: We could start a genocidal war
Entire Court: They could start a geno-- Wait, what!
K.R: I could get back to all my hobbies
Like raising taxes and tormenting the poor
E.C: Bless those poor

K.R: No more, "Galavant is just complete perfection.
"Gal would never lose his... temper!"
Won't that be divine, and she'll be mine
Just mine, all mine
Mine, all mine, all mine