I've lost a truly special friend
I swear I'll never drink again
I'd like to talk to you alone
If I could walk, I'd walk you home
I'd like to kiss you in the street

But that's so cheesy and so cheap

And so they banned me from the bar
I've got no family for my family car
That I've been using a s a bed
And when the battery is dead
I could cry myself to sleep

But that's so cheesy and so cheap

Am I a man? Am I a mouse?
Who wears the trousers in this house?
I am the rat that killed your cat
Who painted then destroyed your flat
You slapped me and I slapped you black and blue

And that's so cheesy and so cheap