When I woke up this morning I was feelin' fine 
But this cat starts banging man what a swine. 
So I called reception but to no avail 
That's why I'm telling you this sorry tale. 
I went bang - I said shut up, 
I went bang - I said rap up. 
Well I'm aware that the guy must do his work 
But the piledriver man drove me berserk. 

He said captain, I said wot, 
He said captain, I said wot, 
He said captain, I said wot, 
He said captain, I said wot d'ya want 

Once a lifetime, twice a day 
If you don't work you get no pay. 
I been to the east, I been to the west, 
But the girls I like best are the ones undressed. 
Well, hello Adam, where you been? 
I said a'stand aside 'cause I'm feelin' mean, 
I've had a gutful of you and I'm feelin' bad 
'Cause you're an ugly old pirate and ain't I glad. 

He said captain, I said wot, ... 
He said captain, I said wot, ...