Rita spits out her laurel leaf

and grabs a piece of my pie

she's gonna lead me up the mountain path

as the crows fly


Claudette's pretty quick off the mark

like a polaris missile in heat

she smiles at a hundred miles an hour

and rushes you off your feet


There's all these friends of mine

they've got me suffering

they don't take a line

they keep me pissing adrenalin


Ratty is nearly unique

looks like a Pre-Raphaelite barb freak

wears dangerous jewellery

got a cast iron personality


Sandie wears an awful lot of silk

says she's a friend of Mr Acker Bilk

she's going out of my mind

wants to live on milk


There's all these friends of mine ...


I was musing on the pool outdoors

about foreign matters and fancy affairs

Betty trimmed my nails with pliers

while eating avocado pears


Norman's sobbing cos his make-up's

running away with itself

he's heading for an early grave

scared to death about the state of his health


There's all these friends of mine ...