Once I was happy and I had a good wife
I had enough money to last me for life
I met with a gal and we went on a spree
She taught me to smoke and drink whiskey

Cigarettes and whiskey and wild wild women
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane
Cigarettes and whiskey and wild wild women
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane

Cigarettes is a plague on the whole human race
A man is a monkey with one in his face;
His mate give permission, believe me, dear brother
A fire's on one end, a fools on the t'other

Cigarettes and whiskey and wild wild women
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane
Cigarettes and whiskey and wild wild women
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane

Wild the cross at the head of my grave (???)
For women and whiskey here lies a poor slave.
Take warning dear stranger, take warning dear friend
Then write in big letters these words at the end

Cigarettes and whiskey and wild wild women
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane
Cigarettes and whiskey and wild wild women
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane