You've sure got a real nice place
So don't take this the wrong way
But I can tell by your decorating taste
You've been alone too long
You've got more candles than a midnight mass
That fancy mirror adds a touch of class
But do you know how good a mounted bass
Would look there on that wall

You need a man around here
You can't do it all by yourself
To me it's painfully clear
That you could use a little help
Someone to kill the spiders
Change the channel and drink the beer
Seems to me that you sure need
A man around here

Thumbing through your stack of magazines
I don't see a Maxim or Field and Stream
I haven't been in a room this clean
Since they took my appendix out
Well you've gotta be kidding me
Don't tell me that thing is your TV
My laptop's got a bigger screen
Baby, there ain't no doubt

You need a man around here
You can't do it all by yourself
To me it's painfully clear
That you could use a little help
Someone to kill the spiders
Change the channel and drink the beer
Seems to me that you sure need
A man around here

Someone to kill the spiders
And by the way, you're out of beer
Seems to me that you sure need 
A man around here
Yeah, it seems to me that you sure need 
A man around here