[Chorus:]
Well it's one AM and I'm ready to rock
I got a million dollar record that I'm ready to drop
I'm 'bout to get it goin on, baby, ready or not
I make the FUNKY, FUNKY, FUNKY, FUNKY, funky hit records!
Well it's two AM and I'm ready to roll
I already got paid, now I'm out the do'
The Cadillac's in the back and it's ready to go
I make the FUNKY, FUNKY, FUNKY, FUNKY, funky hit records!

[Verse 1:]
I've been a cocky dude ever since 17
Every chance I get, I practice my acceptance speech
Thank you Grammys, Academy, the MTV
Just give me this award and let's not make it everything
I do it huge, I'm just the cleanest that ya care to meet
In foreign sneakers, foreign whips and foreign denim jeans
From Honolulu off to Bonnaroo in Tennessee
What I'm about to do you cockatoos won't repeat
You think I'm playin, son, I'm "Serious" as Steady B
I'm so hot I'm like a barbecue in leather jeans
I'm so hot I've got your girl doin' the centipede
I'm cuttin' deep just like the Stones, baby, "Let it Bleed"

[Chorus]

[Verse 2:]
I ain't changed or strayed away from what I told ya
I still stand behind everything I ever sold ya
Spendin all your time waitin for me to fall don't you
You gonna be waitin hella long, partnuh, bring Sudoku
These writers won't fuck with me cause I'm Japanese
If they don't touch me, you know what? Fuck these magazines!
I'm breaded up already plus I got my legacy
It ain't nuttin stoppin' me from makin history
It ain't nuttin stoppin' me from gettin chedda cheese
Even after lawyers, managers and agencies
Even after Uncle Sam and them take a piece
Now I see how Gary Coleman ain't got anything
I'm so funky like Arnold and Dudley, man
I'm so funky like Chunky Soup and Hungry Man
I'm so funky, somethin like Booty's rubberband
Y'all so unfunky, y'all just a Bootsy coverband

[Chorus]

[DJ D-Sharp cuts and scratches]

[Verse 3:]
You mighta had a chance, girl, but I'm murried now
You have no idea how much I be turnin down
You might ask what do I do when girls be flirtin now
I see ya comin, and I just turn around and bounce
I used to do the Kama Sutra in my Momma's Sentra
Like she used to do it in my father's Continental
And I do believe that moment was monumental
That's how I was conceived, let's keep that confidential
I'm old school like herringbones and nugget rings
My old school's on Pirelli's on Custom D's
I'm old school, give me mayonaisse and mustard, please
Ya flow's cool but now you ain't sayin nuttin deep
It's gon' be funk deluxe if it comes from me
It's gon' be top NOTCH to the umpth degree
Or at the very least it's gon' be a masterpiece
'Cause from me? That's what y'all accustomed to seein

(One AM...)
(I'm 'bout to get it...)
(FUNKY, FUNKY, FUNKY)
(Two AM...)
(That's right y'all, brand new!)
(Hit records!)
(Something to keep y'all contained, you feel me?)
(STEP BACK!)