I'd like to find the guy

Who done me wrong

And stuck my butt up

On this Christmas tree.



Who put the stump

In my rump-ba-bump-ba-bump?

Who took and jammed it

In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong?

Who stood the wood

Where I poop-she-poop-she-poop?

Who put the stick

Up my hipty-dipty-dip?



Who was that man?

He shoved it up my can

And left me stranded on this Christmas tree. (Yeah ...)



When this angel heard

Chop-ba-ba-bop, di-chop-ba-ba-bop,

A dreadful fear went right into my heart.

Those pine tree needles sting me,

Ram-a-jam-a-ram-a-jammin' in my ding dong.

You'll never know how much that smarts. (Hooah ...)



So who put the stump

In my rump-ba-bump-ba-bump?

Who took and jammed it

In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong?

Who stood the wood

Where I poop-she-poop-she-poop?

Who put the stick

Up my hipty-dipty-dip?



Who took that bush

And crammed it in my tush?

He made this angel beg for mercy, please. (Yow ...)



Each night when I'm alone,

Scratchity scratchity scratchity scratchity

Scratchity scratchity shoop ...

It sets my tiny bottom all aglow.

And every time I wiggle,

Slipty-din-de-din, slipty-din-de-din,

A little further in it goes. (Ohhh/Yeah ...)



(Rump-ba-bump-ba-bump

Ram-a-lam-a ding dong

Slipty-din-de-din

Poopity poopity shoop ...)